She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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