so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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