wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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