So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
