Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
