carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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