then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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