i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
