There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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