you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
there is glitter all over my balls
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