"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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