Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
