Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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