Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
