What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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