I'm really into asian looking animals
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
