make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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