Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize