Got a toothbrush?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This toilet bowl is my home.
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