I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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