I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
