Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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