that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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