Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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