Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
