yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
