I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
vagina is talking i cant
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i've created a new STD.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize