Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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