We're facebook friends in real life
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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