Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
