so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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