After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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