her vagine was all disorganized.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
