I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
