why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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