Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
