Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
