Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
love makes seman taste better
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
