Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
