I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
