a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
