I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
