I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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