Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
