yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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