So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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