She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
