Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
