This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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