You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
