i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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