Whoa Z and x make the same sound
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
