hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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