Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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