dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
