I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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