He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
