He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
