i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
