Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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