Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Im part way to drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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