So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
